on life as I didn't plan it

backing up to a year and a half ago... I was about to embark on my last semester as a college student, and one of the best journeys of my life. I was about to leave for a semester in Russia. One of my all time favorite places in the world. I was so excited, I had everything ahead of my and could do anything I wanted. Or so I thought. My 6 months in Russia were some of the best and some of the worst times in my life. There were times that were amazing. I loved the little troubles of life in Russia. (being forced to wear tapachki, prepaid cell phones, lack of a good hamburger, attempting to cook on an ancient Russian stove, fighting 10,000 other Russian students to get up the world's smallest elevator everyday for class, and many many other things) After my six months were up I was sad to leave Russia, it had become like a second home to me. I thought I was going back. I was sure that the Lord was leading me back to Russia. I was sure of it. So I applied to go to Moscow with Campus Crusade. Through some crazy change of events (a story which most of you have heard, Im sure.) I ended up on a team going to Senegal. Despite it not being what I thought I signed up for, I was totally excited. I had some AMAZING people on my team and I was stepping out on a new adventure. I thought I could make a difference in Senegal despite knowing nothing of the culture or language. Well that didn't happen either. I am in fact, not in Senegal. The money just wasn't there. I don't really know if I tried hard enough or not. I thought I was doing everything I could, but looking back, maybe not. It has been four months tomorrow since my team left for Senegal, and it was just a little over four months ago that I learned I was not going to be going with them. It has been an increadibly difficult four months for me. I struggled with the fact that I had no idea what God was wanting me to do. I was sure I was following his desire for my by going to the mission field, but then I didn't go. I put on a hard exterior telling everyone that asked that I knew that it just wasn't God's will for me to go, but inside I was a mess. Anytime I thought about it I broke down in tears, and because of that I shut out my teammates. It was the biggest mistake I could have made because despite not going with them I wanted to remain friends with them. For a while even looking at their facebook pages or seeing pictures pop up would make me upset, and still does on occasion. Don't get me wrong, I don't wallow in self pity all the time. I have a lot of things going for me here and I am thankful for them. I have an amazing boyfriend whom I love, who has supported me through all of this, several good friends I am grateful to have in my life, and a good job. I am not unhappy. This just isn't how I planned it. It isn't how I thought my life would be right now. And I struggle with that. My passion is to be overseas or be involved in all things international, and I am far removed from that right now, and I really miss it. Where do I go from here? I have no idea. I am still trying to figure that out. Theres three things that I am sure of though, one - I want to get back overseas (even for the short term) as soon as possible. two - I love the man that God has placed in my life. and three - I need to get to a place where I don't blame God for the fact that I am not in Senegal and to a place where I can truly be happy for the team down there and be totally upset every time I get an update from them (or anyone overseas). And that is something that I have needed to admit for a while. It is really hard for me when things don't go according to plan, and right now my life, for better or for worse, is really, really far from the plan that I had imagined.

Encouraged yet Discouraged

Yesterday on Facebook I posted as my status "is it possible to be encouraged yet discouraged?" I never really got a solid response, but after much consideration i realized that it was quite possible to be both at the same time. Let me explain:

I logged into facebook yesterday afternoon and saw three very exciting status updates and one very exciting message. Three of my friends (two of them are also my teammates for Senegal, and one is a friend heading to Sweden) had on their statuses that they had made a huge jump in support! My friend heading to Sweden actually finished and got a leave date (which is set for this coming Friday, so be praying for her!) which was super exciting. Two of my teammates had made huge jumps in support, one to 90% and another to over 70%. I also had a message from a teammate who had made a huge jump in support to over 90%. Super encouraging, right? Right! I could see that God was working for them. I came away from reading all of that super encouraged by how God was working in their lives and in their support.

But I also came away very discouraged.

I am sitting at around 40%, very far off from my goal, and very far off from where my other teammates are at. We still do not have an official leave date, but we expect it to be around October 1, which is just a few short weeks away. I just got this very discouraged feeling that maybe I am not going to get all the support that I need to go. I never understood how difficult it woudl be to raise support. I hate asking people for money, and I hate talking on the phone, and so calling people to ask for money is so difficult for me.

But anways, so right now I am feeling very discouraged and encouraged at the same time.

Please be praying for encouragement, and please be praying for support.

Again, if you would like to donate visit: https://give.ccci.org/give/View/0618324

or make checks payable to Campus Crusade for Christ and mail them to:

Kristen Moorefield

400 Dorse Road

Lewisville, NC 27023

my plans are not always His plans...

So much can change in just a week. Last weekend I heard rumors for the first time that my Russian team may not be able to go to Russia. On Monday this was confirmed, that due to some circumstances with one of my teammates our entire team was being pulled. I was really sad about this at first, and questioning why God would call me to do this if he knew all along that we wouldn't be going. I started praying, wondering what I was going to do now. Two of my teammates were really wanting to switch to the Senegal team, but I was going, Senegal... Africa? No way. But I prayed about it and talked to my director about it and he said if I felt like God was still calling me to go overseas next year that Senegal was really where the greatest need was. They only had 3 guys going to Senegal, and they were really praying for some girls to join the team. I had thought about waiting a year, but I realized this wasn't practical as far as starting a career and putting my life on hold for another year waiting to go. And the more I prayed the more I felt like God was calling me to go overseas next year. He made it very clear to me that even though I love Russia, that I wasn't going because it was Russia, I was going because there were people that need to hear about my Savior, Jesus Christ. And i realized that there were people everywhere that needed to hear about Him. So I said yes. I said I would go to Senegal. Now I realize some of you may be going... Senegal? That is the furthest from Russia as you could possibly get, but I am trusting God that this is his plan for me and he is going to use this to stretch me and trust him even more. I am still wrapping my head around the switch, but I am getting so excited as i keep meeting people and talking to people about going and finding out that they have been there! I feel like now, more than ever, that this is where God wants me next year.

So what now? Now the support raising begins again. I have new support goals, which are, gulp, more than Russia. But, because the Senegalese school year starts later than ours I don't leave until sometime in the first of October. Please keep me in your prayers as I am dealing with everything relating to switching and raising the rest of my support. Based on the new support goals I have about 25% of what I need. If you have questions please don't hesitate to give me a call (336) 407-6062 or email me... klmoore2@gmail.com

What Lies Ahead

Life's decisions are never easy...

As most of you know I had plans to return to Russia in August, and still hope that those plans will happen, but I only have about 17% of the amount of money I need raised. I have gotten really discouraged lately as people continue to tell me no, they can't support me. I am starting to question whether or not this really is what God has called me to do next year. I have really felt like this was his calling, yet I am far from having the money I need to go. On top of that, the rest of my team is struggling for funds, and our entire team could be forced to stay back if not enough of us get our support raised.
I have also recently found a great new group of friends that I would like to get to know better. I am finding a reason to stay in the US, and finding myself wanting to stay here a little bit longer.
But I am struggling to figure out what I would do if I do not go. I need a job, and I really don't want to live with my parents any longer than I have too. So I really don't know what to do. I will know for sure whether or not I am going in just a few weeks. But if you are reading this, please be praying for direction in my life, and that God would remove my desires and reveal himself to me.

RUSSIA!!

Want to keep updated on my next adventure to Russia??? I am continually updating as things are happening on my other blog. Check it out if you are interested!!

www.freewebs.com/livinginrussia

Enjoy!

simple lyrics. powerful words.

"Love Never Fails" Brandon Heath

Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don’t

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won’t make a sound
When I can’t turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you

girls and apples

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.